expectations.

Well, it’s been just over a month since I last posted. I have been so distracted lately with school, looking for jobs, and trying to enjoy time with Andrew; blogging has not been a top priority. I luckily got out of class early today, so I figured I could take some time to verbalize my thoughts and feelings of the past month.

I said in my last post that I was going to write every day. I would say I have been about halfway successful. I have done some creative writing of my own, but my favorite writing that I have done in the past month has not been for me; it has been for my friends and family. As a break and release from school work, I have been making homemade postcards and sending them to those that I love to let them know I am thinking about them even though we are far away. I was inspired to do this by my friend Caitlin after receiving a homemade postcard from her.  Writing these little notes to my loved ones has reminded me that long-distance relationships are hard, but they are possible. I know that these little notes are not expected from me, but it is always nice to know that someone is thinking of you. And let’s be honest: everyone loves getting mail (okay, maybe not bills and such, but no one is ever disappointed to get a magazine, letter, note, invitation, package, etc). I have only been able to send out about one or two postcards a week, but you may be receiving one sometime in the near future.

I just got a job recently, which is exciting. It is just for 14 weeks over the next 6 months, but I am really looking forward to it.  I will be an Orientation Coordinator, along with two other women, for the new incoming students at Union. I will finally be able to contribute financially (all be it a very small amount) to our family. Getting this job, as well as being busy with school, has gotten me thinking about expectations, especially within the context of marriage. Because I do not provide for my family financially, I often feel like my way of only contributing to our family is buying groceries, doing laundry, and the like.  I never want to ask Andrew to do these things because he works hard everyday to make money for our family. These kinds of feelings go completely against my usual feminist ways and desire to fight against traditional gender norms, but they also stem from a place of pride. I am often too proud to ask Andrew to help with these domestic duties because I am fully capable of doing them by myself, and I don’t need don’t want to ask for help.

I know that Andrew does expect me to do any of these things. He asks what he can do to help, and I shut him down, saying that I’ve got it under control. I want to be able to ask for help, but honestly, I don’t think I’ll be able to until I have a “grown-up” job with a salary and can substantially contribute to our family finances. I know that money is not everything, and it definitely is not in our marriage. Andrew and I live a humble and very happy life, and we want it to always be that way (just without the student debt). More than anything, this is just a rant about the unrealistic expectations I have placed on myself as a wife, that I think many women place on themselves in marriages, whether they are in school as well, stay at home, or work part or full-time. I need to realize for myself that I do contribute to our marriage, in many other ways than financially, and it is those ways that are important. I should do tasks around the house, not because I feel I am expected to by the gender-norm socializing ways of the world, or because I think my husband expects me to, but because I want to, and I feel they will help my marriage thrive. And when I can’t do certain things, it is okay to admit that I can’t, and to ask for help.  It is sometimes difficult for me to admit that school is a full-time job, and Andrew and I are working equally as hard, I just don’t get paid for my work (at least right now).

As Andrew and I said in our vows, we will never give up in striving to not only to make our marriage better, but to make each other better. We will listen when we need to listen, and help when we need to help. We will help keep each other true to our convictions. In my case, that means not having unrealistic expectations for myself.

On a totally different note, I have listened to this song about 20 times in the past two days. It is beautiful and I love it. Hope you do too. Click the link below.

Feist X Timber Timbre – Homage

rest. respite. relaxation.

The first couple weeks of December, during the final stretch of the semester, I could not have been more ready to relax. I was ready to turn off my brain for a while, to binge watch Netflix, to eat to my heart and stomach’s content, and to surf the internet without the least bit of guilt that I should be doing something else. When December 18th came and I was finally done, I was thrilled. I had completed my first semester of grad school, and I could finally relax. 

Well, it has been four weeks of relaxing and I can honestly say, I am over it. I am ready to be busy, to have difficult work and reading to do, to have a schedule. For a task-oriented person like myself, resting and relaxing for too long can do more bad than it does good. While I am so thankful for the time of rest that I have had, I thrive on having things to do, and am ready to thrive again (goodness that sounds dramatic…oh well, I’m keeping it in here).

In this (intended) time of relaxation, I have found myself at times being even more tense than I am as a full-time student.  I think this stems from the fact that we moved here for me to go to school here (and for Andrew’s job of course).  I find my worth in being in New York in being in school, in being a student, in learning. The more time I have to sit at home or sit idly really anywhere the more time I have to think about the friends and family that I miss in NC. Again, don’t get me wrong; I love that we live in NYC and are having this great adventure. But a big part of the adventure for me is being in school.

I say all of this not to complain about having too much free time, but to say that I do not really know how to (fully) relax; I can relax up to a certain point, and then I start thinking about things I should be doing, things I don’t need to be thinking about, or I start doing things I don’t need to be doing (my go to is compulsive cleaning of my closet or our whole apartment). While my apartment may be saying “thank you,” my body and mind remain tense. I need to learn how to fully let go, to give my body and mind the rest that they deserve.

I have decided when school starts back next week, I am going to begin another self-care challenge to myself, similar to the one I did during the month of October. But my challenge will be slightly different. I am going to write everyday; not for school, but for me. This writing can be anything from a little haiku, to a longer free verse poem, to random ramblings. When appropriate, I will share these little musings on the blog. I am hoping that taking out these few minutes a day to write can be a sort of meditation for me, a way to get my thoughts out rather than trying to suppress them for 5-10 minutes of silent meditation.

Here’s to written meditation and full relaxation.

locals and tourists.

After being sick on New Year’s Eve and having to cancel our concert plans, I was really upset. However, it was nice and comforting to know that my mom would be arriving in NYC the next day. When she got here, I was overwhelmed with joy.  It was so wonderful (and kind of strange) to have my mom here in our new home. I was still feeling a bit under the weather, so we took it easy on Wednesday, and then took her to one of our favorite local spots, the Ellington.

Andrew had to work on Thursday and Friday, so my mom and I had girls’ days. We walked around and shopped, ate, and chatted together. We knew we wanted to see a Broadway show while she was here so we went to stand in line at the TKTS discount ticket booth in Times Square. It was freezing, but absolutely worth it; we got tickets to KINKY BOOTS!! If you are unfamiliar, Kinky Boots is a new musical that came out last year. It won Best New Musical at the 2013 Tony Awards (and rightfully so) along with 5 other Tony’s.  We got to see it with the original cast, which was absolutely incredible. The show is about a man who inherits his father’s failing shoe company. To save business, they begin making “kinky boots” for drag queens. The tag line is, “You can learn to change the world when you change your mind.” Amazing. The first thing my mom said as we were walking out of the theater was “That should be a Sunday school lesson.” I agree with her, and told her she should write one.

We got a huge snow storm on Thursday night, and Friday was too cold to do just about anything, so we stayed home and made dinner. It was a nice night to stay in.

Saturday morning, we took my mom to Top of the Rock (Rockefeller Center) as her late Christmas gift. Although it was cold, the sun was out and it was a beautiful day! We got some great pictures of our beautiful city, and each other.

If you squint your eyes real tight and look to the left you can see our next door neighbor Riverside Church.

love them.

my beautiful mother. girl power for life.

Empire State.

the Carpentons being touristy. We probably won’t take another picture together until someone else comes to visit us, or gets married 😉

Saturday afternoon, it was still really too cold for any outdoor activities so we went to the American Museum of Natural History.  This place is heaven for a little nerd like me.  I could have spent the entire day there. My favorite parts were the histories of indigenous peoples, the special whales exhibit, and the dinosaurs.

After the museum, we went and had an amazing evening at Pisticci, a cute little Italian restuarant right down the street from where we live. The food (and the wine) were absolutely delicious! It was a wonderful end to a just about perfect day.

Sunday was our last full day with my mom, so we went and got coffee and breakfast and then headed out to Brooklyn to the Brooklyn Flea Market and Smorgasburg. I could have spent all day here too. Tons of priceless treasures and delicious treasures. I would have taken pictures but I was too distracted by little trinkets, pictures, and leather goods.  At a balmy 30 degrees it was the warmest day yet so we walked around Brooklyn some and then walked around Greenwich Village some. We ate some delicious pizza in the village and then headed home.  Instead of going out for a drink my mom suggested that we should be our own mixologists and make our own at home. My mom and I made cosmos and Andrew had whiskey and we all ate cheesecake.  It was a great, low-key way to end our visit.

Having my mom here was so nice, and I’m so glad we got to share our city with her. It made me excited for other visitors to come, especially Andrew’s family. We have not seen them since we moved up here in August and I cannot wait for them to visit in the spring.  It was also nice to get to be a tourist in the city we live in.  Having visitors here helps us to do things we would not do otherwise.

I don’t start classes until the 22nd, so there may be some more blog posts coming as a result of boredom and a lot of time on my hands, so get ready for that.

happy new year!

2013 recap.

To say that 2013 has been an eventful year would be a major understatement. So many major life changes have happened to me and to my new family with Andrew, and they have all been wonderful, but challenging as well. I could probably write the equivalent of about ten blog posts on all of the highlights of the past year, but do not worry, I will spare you. I will just (briefly) recap some of them.

We ended 2012 and started 2013 on an annual retreat with some of our dearest friends in Laurel Bloomery, TN, just about 45 minutes west of Boone. We hole up in a cabin with no wifi, no technology (except for a laptop acting as a movie projector), homemade food, crafts, books, games, and each other. Of the three years that the retreat has happened, this is our first year not there, and honestly, I am sick about it.  We miss our friends way more than we thought we would, and we would love to see them.  But more than that, the retreat is always a time of rest, rejuvenation, and renewal; a time to reflect not only on the past year, but also to reflect on my life in general, and what needs to stay and what needs to change.  I have done a bit of this since school ended, but instead I’m in the busiest city in the country instead of a remote cabin in the woods. Needless to say, it’s a little different. Regardless of the things that I miss, the retreat was one of the best ways to start off 2013, because after we got back, we hit the ground running.

In April, one of my dreams came true: I got accepted to grad school at Union Theological Seminary.  You may have heard me screaming wherever you live all the way from Waxhaw, NC. I was thrilled that I got the news while I was home with my mom and Andrew over my spring break. Union is the place I knew I was supposed to be in school, and it is in NYC! Andrew was so excited too because he has also always wanted to live in a big city. More than just being excited, getting into Union was a huge vote of confidence for myself.  I had already gotten into a couple of my second and third choice schools, but there was something about getting into Union; it made me believe in myself, and believe that I could do anything I really set my mind to (this is corny I know, but I’m feeling reflective and sentimental so just give me this one).

In May, I graduated from Appalachian State University.  I was not planning on walking, but at the last minute I decided to, and I’m so glad I did. I got to walk next to two of my best friends, Abby (my roommate of four years), and Jonathan (one of my best friends via being Andrew’s best friend). As I looked through the program while waiting to walk, I realized that I had been named one of the outstanding students in the Religious Studies program. This (among other things) made me realize that all of my hard work had not gone unnoticed.  (Sidenote: I am so thankful for the relationship I built with my professors, two in particular.  They became such a great support and it was their votes of confidence that made me apply to graduate school in the first place. They have had me to their home, and we have shared numerous meals together, and I will continue to be thankful for them.)  Graduation day was also a big day for me on the family front; it was the first day I had been in a room with both of my parents together since they got divorced officially in 2010. I was really nervous about it, mostly because it was unknown, it was unpredictable. But it went fine, they were civil, and we were able to not be overtly awkward. In a way, this was a type of closure for me, a way to see that things are good the way that they are, and while I miss things the way that they were, to have that back is impossible, and I’m okay with and thankful for that.

On July 13, Andrew and I got married. This was truly the best day of my life.  One of my favorite memories from the entire day was right after I woke up. It was about 7:00 am and I was walking to the bathroom.  One of my dearest friends and bridesmaids Sarah, who was sharing the bed with me, looked up at me with sleepy eyes and said “Today is today!” She was right. So much anticipation had been leading up to this one day, and I was so thankful to have my best friends beside me and sharing it with me. I could go on and on about our wedding, but I will just say it was a day full of joy and love with the people who we care about the most.  Here is a 13 minute video that captures some of the best moments: Andrew + Elizabeth Wedding Feature

In August, we got to see more of our dear friends get married, and it was wonderful to be able to share their days with them and support them like they supported us. We lived with Andrew’s parents in Boone until our big move and got to enjoy nature and all of our wonderful friends. We made the rounds of our favorite Boone restaurants and all of our favorite Boone people. And then, on August 21, we loaded up a U-HAUL and started the drive to New York! It was a long LONG drive, but we made it. We made it to our new home in the big city.

Since August, Andrew and I have made our little apartment a home, have made some new friends, explored a new city, and experienced both the joys and struggles of marriage. It has been a crazy ride, but it has been an amazing one.  I am so thankful to have someone along side me to share it with. I have a feeling 2014 may not be quite as eventful, but will still hold lots of adventures. So tonight, we end 2013 by going to see Gogol Bordello in concert.  And tomorrow, we will start off 2014 with a visit from my beautiful mother.

2013, it’s been a good one. 2014, it’s going to be a good one too.

 

make-up & catch up.

Well, I feel like it’s been ages since I wrote a post (in reality it’s only been about a month). Final exams consumed my life after Thanksgiving, but now I have time to actually sit down and write.  I’ve had lots of thoughts whirling around my head and so here they are, about to pour out. Caution advised.

Many of you are aware of the trends “Movember” or “No-Shave November” that a lot of guys participate in.  While I was in undergrad, two of my friends came up with a way that women could participate as well: “No Make-Up November.” We would go completely make-up free for a whole month.  I know for some girls who rarely wear make-up, this is not a challenge at all, but it is a very difficult one for me.  However, living in Boone, surrounded by all of my mountain we-don’t-care-about-our-appearance-as-much friends, it was easier. Boone is a place where it is completely acceptable to not wear make-up and even wear the same outfit a few days (or more) in a row.  I was able to proudly comfortably show my imperfect skin to the world.

New York is not such a place.  As one of the fashion capitals of the world, everyone looks like they are coming from or going to a fashion shoot. Women walk around with their stilettos and designer bags and clothes, even in the snowy and rainy weather. I no longer blend in with my boots and over-sized flannel shirts. And their hair and skin always look flawless. I have never been more aware of the way I look or my perceived imperfections than I have living in New York. Thus, No Make-Up November was even more of a challenge for me. I unfortunately buckled a few times and put on mascara or concealer to have some sort of confidence about myself for the day.

I do not say all of this to get a sympathetic “Oh Elizabeth, you are beautiful just the way you are” or something like that. I know that I am beautiful, and most days, I can say things like that convincingly to myself. My point in bringing this up is this new hyper-awareness of the way that I look, and the way that other people look. Now, don’t get me wrong, my mother and husband can attest to the fact that I LOVE clothes and shopping. I like “feeling cute” and being excited about the outfit that I have on. I like when I get a haircut that I feel good and confident about. I do still have insecurities about my skin that resemble the likes of fourteen-year-old girls everywhere, but I continue to work on it. I do, however, want to feel okay about myself when I want to go to the grocery store with no make-up on and a sweatshirt instead of a fur coat. I need to figure out how to “be stylish enough for New York” without losing myself or my confidence. I want to be able to have a No Make-Up Day when ever I want, and not just reserve it as a challenge for the month of November.

Ok. Close-parentheses (Thanks Dr. Hamori for this one). Feelings overload over.

This past weekend, I had the greatest experience ever thanks to my godparents. I was able to fly to Charlotte for a brief three days to surprise my mom.  It was such a joy to see her tears of happiness as I walked through the door. I also got to spend a lot of time with my brother and sister-in-law and my precious nephew Landon.  I was able to see my dad, and help my mom through a party for my godparents who are moving to Alabama this month.  It was a whirlwind three days, but I was so thankful that I got to spend it with my family. And as much as I enjoyed being in NC, I was so ready to get back to NYC to be with Andrew for our first New York Carpenton Christmas. Our little tree is up, filled with homemade and gifted ornaments, and with little presents underneath ready to be opened. We will be continuing my family’s tradition of summer sausage english muffins for dinner tonight, and will be attending the Christmas Eve service at Riverside Church.  We are both well and will not be having another sick holiday. The sun is out, the air is cold, and life is good.

Merry Christmas Eve.

 

thanks.

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays.  Now, I love food just like anyone, and Thanksgiving food is delicious, especially in the Clark/Carpenter families (and pies from the Traylor family), but the food is not my reason for loving this holiday.  I love the warmth of being surrounded by family.  I love playing games and taking naps and snuggling up together.  I love dinner time conversation about what is going on in everyone’s lives, and what everyone is thankful for. I love Thanksgiving because I love being with my family.

I also love Thanksgiving because it was the day last year that Andrew and I decided to become each others family and get engaged.  We got to celebrate our engagement with both of our families in one house, sitting around one table. Other than our actual wedding day, Thanksgiving 2012 was one of the best days of my life. We were surrounded by those who love us the most and who continually support and encourage us.

This Thanksgiving was different. It was our first Thanksgiving away from our immediate families. It was our first Thanksgiving as a married couple. It was our first Thanksgiving in New York City.  We had been invited to eat with some of our new friends who live in our building, and were really excited about it.  I figured being with new friends would keep our minds off of the fact that we were not in North Carolina. But, as with a lot of plans, things did not go as expected.  Andrew got sick. Really sick (he is in the bed as I write this blog post). Needless to say, we did not go have dinner with anyone.  We stayed in the apartment, watched movies, took naps, and ate a few of our Thanksgiving favorites, squash casserole and sausage balls.

I got sad.  I was glad that I was able to take care of Andrew, but sitting at home all day just made me all the more aware of the fact we were not having Thanksgiving like we were used to having. I was thankful for the time with Andrew, but also sad that we really were not able to enjoy it. Seeing everyone’s facebook posts and instagrams about how much fun they were having with their families just made it worse.  Honestly, it was a rough afternoon.

But then, I was reminded of the little budding family that we have here at Union.  My friend Lindsey (who we were supposed to eat with), made us a big plate of delicious food. I went down to her apartment and just getting a big hug from her made the day better. (the power of hugs for the win.) Then I got a text from our friend Rodney about a big dinner that was happening on the first floor of our building. I needed to get out of the apartment, and Andrew said it was okay, and so I went down there for a bit.  I met some new people, and got more hugs and love from our little Union community. Even though it is not the same, we do have a little family here.  People care about each other here.

I came home and snuggled with Andrew until he we fell asleep. Yesterday was not a conventional Thanksgiving by any means.  But actually, it made me more thankful than all of the others I have had. I am thankful that I go to school at Union, and live at Union.  I am thankful that we are surrounded by amazing community.  I am thankful for my family (friends included), who even though they are far away, call and send texts to let us know that we are missed and we are loved.  I am thankful for Andrew. I am thankful that we got to spend the day together, even if it wasn’t the most fun. I am thankful that we are sharing life together, and are on an adventure together. I am thankful for the friendship and the love that we share. We did not have a decadent day or a glutenous day.  The day we had really put things in perspective for me, of what we do have, and what we really ought to be thankful for.

 

a wonderful weekend.

It’s been just a little over three months since we’ve lived in NYC and I believe that this weekend was my favorite so far.  So many wonderful things happened, it truly was joyful from start to finish.

Since my post about us having difficulty making friends, we have made some amazing friends, both from inside Union and outside as well. On Friday night, we had two of our new friends, David Michael and Jessica, over for drinks and snacks.  Jessica is a little mixologist and whipped us up some fancy new cocktails! It was a wonderful time of friends and conversation, an intimate little get together like the ones I had been missing so much from back in NC.  We decided that these little get togethers should continue, and I hope that they do.  These new friends are becoming our family here, and are making it feel much more like home.

Speaking of NC, on Saturday, I had the pleasure of getting coffee with a dear friend from middle school. I had not seen her in 8 years! But it felt just like old times, and we picked up right where we left off.  She lives in Harlem now, only about 30 blocks (2 train stops) away from us.  Getting together with Katelyn made me excited to continue to rekindle our friendship. We went to the cutest little place called The Chipped Cup (it is times like these I wish I took more pictures…I promise I will get better at this) in Harlem close to her apartment.  If you ever come visit us, I will definitely be taking you to this place.  It is a little hole-in-the-wall place with lots of warmth and charm, perfect for reading/studying or chatting with an old (or new!) friend. 

Andrew didn’t have to work this weekend, so we got to spend the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday together, which is a rarity these days.  After eating lunch we decided to go explore SoHo, another part of the city we had yet to visit.  If you want shopping, ANY kind of shopping, SoHo is the place to go.  We wandered into unique little boutiques, designer shops, and well known brand name stores as well.  There’s a unique charm to SoHo (as there is in all the neighborhoods of Manhattan), but also a lot of people, already starting the Christmas shopping rush.  This will definitely be a place I take my mom, so that we can do the “shopper shuffle” together again.

Sunday was a real treat.  My sister-in-law’s sister, Pam, her husband Jason, and their daughter Caroline, came up to enjoy the city for a few days before Thanksgiving.  I got a call from Jason a couple weeks ago asking if Andrew and I would like to go with them to a Brooklyn Nets basketball game. Of course we said yes! So yesterday, we headed out to the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.  As soon as we got off the train, we saw a Target! I could not believe my eyes, and of course we had to go in.  Target has been my one suburban vice that I have missed oh so much. Although we were only in there long enough for Andrew to pick out and buy some gloves (because it was the coldest day we’ve had here so far…high of 25 degrees!), it was still very nostalgic, and kind of strange at the same time.  I am still a little thrown off when I see things I associate with suburbia in the city.  But it’s nice to know that there is a Target only a 30 minute train ride away!

After our Target adventure, we met up with Pam, Jason, and Caroline at the Barclays Center. It was so wonderful to see and hug familiar faces.  As I may have mentioned before, I have underestimated the power of hugs, and didn’t realize how much a part of my life they were until moving here. We hiked up to our seats, and although we were pretty high up, we still had a great view!

It was Brooklyn Kids Day at the game, so we were entertained not only by the basketball, but by the Brooklyn Nets Kids dance team, and pre-teen metal band Unlocking the Truth. I haven’t been to a professional sports game in a while, and I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would.

After the game, we got a picture with Caroline out front before the sun completely went down.  ** Notice how tall Caroline is, or rather, how little we are. We are 22 & 24 years old…she is 8.**

We then headed to the delicious 67 Burger, rode the train home, dropping off Pam, Jason, and Caroline at 42nd street. It was so wonderful to get to spend the day with family, especially so close to the holidays. The Powell family is such a joy to be around and their generosity blessed us so much.

To top off the weekend, Andrew and I got milkshakes on the way home (even though it was close to 20 degrees). I know that every weekend will not be as action-packed as this one, but it gave me hope of all the fun that is truly to be had in this city. The fun is not just about where you go or where you are, but who you are with. 

peace and blessings.

finding our voices.

Yesterday, I had the incredible pleasure of seeing two amazing women in dialogue: Melissa Harris-Perry and bell hooks.  I have been reading excerpts and quotes from bell hooks since the beginning of my undergraduate career, and as Harris-Perry said yesterday, most, if not all of us who consider ourselves feminists or black feminists have come to our understanding of feminism through bell hooks. She truly is a visionary, and a sweet and feisty woman.  I was unfamiliar with Melissa Harris-Perry until recently, when I saw a clip of her show on MSNBC about the beauty of young black girls.  She is a visionary of today with so much insight, reshaping how we view the news. 

I must say, I am so thankful to my professor, Dr. Yolanda Pierce, for granting my class the opportunity to see these women live.  When I walked up to the New School yesterday afternoon before the talk, there was a line of probably 200+ people around the building trying to get in.  Dr. Pierce had reserved seats for our class, and so my friend Gwyn and I got to go up to the THIRD ROW! For a brief moment, we felt like celebrities.  We just kept saying how we couldn’t believe we were actually going to get to hear bell hooks speak, as her words have been so influential to both of us. 

If you have some free time, like an hour and a half of free time, I encourage you to watch the video of the talk, especially at the end when they respond to questions.  I believe it would be really worth your time. Below is a link to the video:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/08/melissa-harris-perry-bell-hooks_n_4242909.html

I just want to share a bit of my experience from yesterday.  One of the most profound things I experienced was not even the talk itself, but being a part of the audience.  Out of all of the people in the auditorium that I believe seats about 250-300 people, I was one of very few white individuals.  I was surrounded by men and women (but mostly women) of color, all shades, shapes and sizes.  It was absolutely beautiful, and humbling.  I have had this experience in my womanism class as well.  I have so much to learn from these women, and I have so much to learn from being aware of my race and my whiteness for one of the first times in my life.  I’m still wrestling with these feelings, but I was just so aware of it yesterday afternoon; and it was difficult, but beautiful. Beautiful in the sense that I was not the majority. Beautiful that white people were not dominating conversation. Beautiful that these women have so much to teach me about justice and love just from living their lives. Beautiful.

I don’t think I could even do justice to the words I heard yesterday so I am not going to try (which is why you should watch the video).  I will say, however, it is these kinds of women that change the world.  It is listening to conversations like these, and conversing with people (who are different from us!) that is going to change the world, eliminate patriarchy, and eliminate oppression.  After I left the New School, I felt a high, a sense of empowerment, a sense of reality, a need for change, for transformation.  bell hooks challenged the audience at the end of the talk. She said,

“If you work for freedom, one of the ways that you can work for freedom is to change your mind, and to move away from the space of binaries; of simplistic either/or, both/and, and to be able to look at the picture that offers us complexity.”

I have been talking with some friends at Union about this idea of binaries, and how it is destructive to society.  We need to allow space for the gray in the world.  We need to allow space for fluidity, for change.  We need to allow space for those who fall through the cracks. We need to allow space for everyone to find her or his voice.

peace and blessings,

Elizabeth.

 

discovery.

I apologize for not posting very regularly…I am still getting a handle on this whole grad school thing.  But I would like to take a break from school talk (although I could easily get on a theological rant so I am having to restrain myself) and talk about life in NYC.

It is very overwhelming to live here.  There is literally SO MUCH to do that it is difficult to even know where to begin.  Because of work schedules, mid-terms and papers, Andrew and I have gotten pretty lazy recently when it comes to exploring the city.  We spend a lot of time in our apartment (which we love), on campus, and in the little radius that makes up the Morningside Heights neighborhood.  Staying in our little area is easy, but I have realized in the past few days that we need to get out and actually see and explore all that this city has to offer.

This past weekend we did a little bit of that.  On Sunday, our friend Boots took some “engagement” pictures of us in a beautiful part of Central Park near her home.  Although it was only about a 25 minute walk from our apartment, I felt like we were in a completely different part of the city. It was beautiful!  There were fall colors and big rocks; it was a little taste of the nature that I miss on the Blue Ridge Parkway.  We also took some pictures early Monday morning in a different part of Central Park further downtown.  Again, absolutely stunning! There was a beautiful willow tree, an old bridge over a lake, and an incredible view of the city.  Friends, New York is beautiful! I have been so confined to campus and our neighborhood recently that I have forgotten about the rest of the city.  Being in the park gave me some new perspective on all of the wonder and adventure that is to be had here.

Also, Monday evening, Andrew and I went and ate at the infamous Shake Shack, and I have to say, it was delicious! It was about 20 minutes away (which would usually be reason for us to just stay in), but we made the “trek” and it was totally worth it!

Hopefully with mid-terms over and the holidays approaching, Andrew and I will find even more time to explore our new home. I am also challenging myself to take more pictures, as I never do! I get home from doing something and think “Why didn’t I take a picture of that?!?” I want to be able to share at least some of the things that we see here 😉

** Stay tuned for a post about bell hooks this weekend!

peace,

Elizabeth.

woman.

I have been so inspired by my class on womanism this semester. Here is a poem (maybe song) I have written, inspired by Alice Walker’s definition of a womanist.

woman.

we stand strong.
outrageous, audacious, courageous.
growing up, growing up.
trying to be grown.
we stand strong.

love embraces us all around
as we stretch our arms out,
to singing, to dancing,
to eating, to breathing,
to living, all around

and when we find ourselves
in the wilderness
we will survive.
we will be made whole,
we will be made whole.